Suicide, A trail and Cayden
I was brutally ganged raped by 6 men, and it seemed like the world was against me. I started receiving multiple death threats online, and I changed my number three times.
My grandmother like many other women felt like black men were demonized by the media enough, and my rape case would just add fuel to the hate fire many black men already faced. No one really asked me how I was doing. Everyone just asked me why I left school that day with Cody, or why didn’t I leave the house when I noticed his whole family was there. What did I expect when I left school early with Cody the star basketball player? I honestly don’t know what I expected when I left early with Cody, but I know I didn’t expect to be raped. Why did I not leave the house when I realized I was the only female in the house full of young men? Once again I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t expect to be raped. I said no I fought back the best I could. I didn’t ask to be raped. Call me young and dumb I’ll accept that, but don’t make me responsible for my own rape.
After the talk I had with my grandmother I contemplated suicide. Then on accident I turned on the TV to find out Cody and his raping cousins were released on bail. They all plead not guilty. I didn’t want to live any longer, and I definitely didn’t want to give birth to my rape baby. The thought of carrying that baby for 9 months made me sick. Everyone always says that adoption is an option, but those people have never gave birth to a child who could only remind them of the worst day of their life. I also couldn’t have an abortion because abortion are illegal now. I was screwed either way, death was my only savior, my only peace.
I went to my room and slit my both my wrists with a kitchen knife. I woke up the next day in a hospital bed, and realized my attempt at suicide failed. I was still alive, still a rape victim, still public enemy number one, and now I was considered “crazy”. I spent a week in the hospital, and my mother visited me every day. My mother was my rock my only supporter.
Once I finally came home from the hospital I finally turned my phone back on. I found that I had a text from Jakeem one of my rapist.
“I heard that you are pregnant. If the baby is family just know we take care of family, and you and the baby will be taken care of” his text read.
I couldn’t tell if it was the text from Jakeem or the pregnancy, but I began to vomit. I didn’t respond to Jakeem right away, because I didn’t know what to say to him. While I was trying to gather my thoughts another text from Jakeem came through.
“If you or the baby need anything let me know” he text read.
“All I need from you is for you and your family to admit that y’all raped me, and then leave me alone forever”.
“That’s the hormones talking. You know how to find me if you need me” he replied. I never responded.
Three months later the rape trial started. Cody, Chase, Quincy, Trust, Bryan, and Jakeem all plead not guilty. The trail only lasted a 3 days. The rapist’s lawyers stated this was a case of a regretful girl claiming rape because she was ashamed. The lawyer stated that I was obsessed with Cody, and would do anything to be with him even if that included sleeping with his entire family. The lawyer also brought up my suicide attempt, and stated that I was mentally unstable.
I agreed to testify, and got on the stand to share my side of the story. I explained to the jury how I was brutally ganged raped. The whole time I gave my testimony I looked directly at Cody, Chase, Quincy, Trust, Bryan and Jakeem, but none of them looked back at me. They all refused to look me in my eyes.
The jury took 3 days to reach a not guilty verdict. All the charges were dropped against all my rapist. I didn’t have sufficient evidence and the case was my word against theirs, and they won. After the trail I watched in tears as Cody’s mother, aunts, sister and grandmothers cried and held their sons.
“Thank you God” Jakeem’s mother cried out.
I guess a mother’s love for her child never dies, but supporting a rapist is low to me. I don’t care if that rapist is your son he needs to be face punishment. How do women raise sons that go out into the world, and hurt women? I would think that if you were raised by a single mother the last thing you would do is hurt a woman, but that just wasn’t the case.
I gave birth to my daughter Cayden Gizelle. She came out weighing 8.9 pounds, and I had a natural birth. I named her Cayden because it means fighter in Welsh. Cayden was really a fighter and she fought for her life even when I didn’t want to live. Six months after I gave birth. Cody, Chase, Quincy, Trust, Bryan, and Jakeem all agreed to take a DNA test. Cayden’s father was determined to be Jakeem.
Jakeem mother deemed me unfit, and decided to take me to court for custody. She deemed me unfit to raise my child. She stated I lied about a rape, got pregnant and didn’t know who the father was. She also stated that I wasn’t mentally prepared to have a child because I tried to end my life a few months back. She also requested child support.
End of part 3
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