Dumb & Looking for Mr. Right

Thanks wightytighty” I said as I started to look through the shopping bags.

“Damn shorty all I get is a thanks” asked my boyfriend at the time Dwight.

“Thank you so much babe” I said with a slight eye roll. Every Saturday since we started dating Dwight always bought me a new wardrobe. I started growing accustomed to him buying me clothes I wasn’t excited anymore that was our routine at this point. Every week I got my nails done, hair done and new clothes.

“Your reaction isn’t what I’m used too” he said slightly disappointed. I could tell I hurt his ego.

“Well, what are you used too” I asked?

“Usually, females are excited thankful. I expect a hug, a kiss, some head something other than thanks babe” he replied.

“Sir you bought me clothes from forever 21, body central, H&M, and bath and body works and you think I should be so overjoyed that I do backflips? You think I should drop to my knees for a $25 dollar shirt? Naw you can’t think that ain’t no way” I thought to myself but didn’t say anything out loud. I’m not the highest-class female but I knew I wasn’t going to get excited about rainbow quality clothes, uggs, or getting my nails done in the hood on Greenmount and 33rd.

“Don’t buy me anything else. Sorry I couldn’t give you the reaction those other females give you. Go be with them. I am not a cheap ass bitch” I said.

“This shit isn’t cheap. You get new stuff every week. When we first started talking you couldn’t even dress. You ain’t cheap and you aren’t grateful” he said.

I don’t know how I hurt his feeling. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. I was thankful that he looked out for me the way he did. He met me as a homey non dressing no name shoe wearing female. I couldn’t dress well maybe I could I just didn’t have the clothes I needed. I didn’t have designer clothes I couldn’t even afford rainbow on my own before I met Dwight, I was poor and homey.

Dwight would pay my phone bill buy me clothes and food. What more could a homey broke girl ask for other than a man to come into her life and spoil her cheap ass?

After dating Dwight for a year and six month I was over him. Dwight was a liar, and I hated a grown man to lie to myself. He would just lie and lie, and then lie some more to cover the lies he already told. I decided to break up with because well he got on my nerves with his lies. No trust no us that may sound cliche, but it was the truth.

Long story short I broke up with Dwight after he missed my high school play. I was in the 11th grade and Dwight was 21. Right after the play ended and Dwight wasn’t in the crowd with flowers, I sent him a text a told him it was over. He responded to the text apologizing for missing my play, but I never responded I was done with him. Not to mention I hated the name Dwight, and I wasn’t about to allow a man named Dwight to disrespect me or devalue me. 

The day after I broke up with Dwight via text message, I went to my best friend’s house to have girl chat. I was at her house for hours before her grandmother came to door and advised me my boyfriend was outside looking for me. I looked out the window and saw Dwight standing outside of my friend’s house holding flowers in one hand and a bag in the other hand.

“He came and found you girl” my friends family member said laughing. The thing was it wasn’t cute to me. Dwight knew when my school play was, and he didn’t come. There was no excuse for him not being there. I took the flowers and the bag and told him that the relationship was still over, and we weren’t getting back together. I told him to stop following me around town. I knew Dwight was a liar and I knew he was being sneaky, but I didn’t have proof. 

Three weeks after I broke up with him Dwight started calling my aunt’s home phone back-to-back. It was 11pm at night and the phone was ringing off the hook. My aunt answered the phone angrily and told Dwight to never call her house that late anymore, and she provided him with my cellphone number. He called my cell phone from a number that I didn’t know when I answered he was crying. 

“Dee please I love you. I’m never going to find another woman like you. I messed up but I love you Destinee. Give me a second chance” he said. 

“Maybe we can be friends wighty. The relationship is dead. I don’t hate you we can be cool ok” I said trying to show empathy before hanging up the phone. I hated hearing Dwight cry I didn’t want to hurt him.  I just didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. Once I hung up the phone Dwight sent me several text messages professing his love for me and begging me to get back in a relationship with him. I didn’t respond to the text I just went to sleep. 

The next day I woke up with around noon and I checked my G1 cellphone and saw that I had 25 missed calls from Dwight. My phone just kept ringing and ringing. I answered the phone expecting Dwight’s voice begging for the relationship, but instead it was a female trying to come to me as a woman. 

“Hello Destinee” the voice on the other end of the phone said.

“Who is this” I responded. Don’t call my phone asking me questions. 

“I came to talk to you as a woman, but if you want smoke, you can get it” the unknown female responded. 

          “Bye girl” I said before hanging up the phone. She needed to find someone else to play with because I didn’t have the time. Once I hung up the female called my phone back 25 more times in the span of 20 minutes.

“Hello” I said when I answered the phone again. 

“I saw your number in Dwight’s phone. I know that ya’ll be messing around behind my back” she said. 

Girl I broke up with Dwight like a month ago. I’m not with him, and I don’t want him back. Stop calling my phone over a loser that I don’t want” I said annoyed. 

“Destinee you think you’re better than everyone. You aren’t special you’re ugly for real. The only reason men like you is because of your skin, and because you have long hair” she angrily said.

 I wasn’t sure why that queen was so mad at me. I wasn’t cheating on her and I wasn’t dating Dwight anymore we broke up weeks ago. I needed that queen to get a grip on reality and stop to calling me. She should’ve been harassing Dwight and not me. I didn’t owe her anything I didn’t even know that girl, but I did notice that she kept calling me Destinee. She kept saying my name like she knew me from back in the day, but she didn’t. I hated when people called me by my first name especially people outside of my small intimate circle of loved ones and even then, most of them called me by nicknames. Day, Dee, Dee Dee, Knee Knee, Daebae , Nannie to name a few nicknames, anything but Destinee. That queen was getting above herself calling out my name and I didn’t appreciate the disrespect. 

“Who are you? I asked, but before she could answer I realized that I had more to say. “Did you even read the text I sent to Dwight. Girl don’t nobody want him but you”. 

“So, he never talked about me? I know he talked about me because we been together for five years. I know about you” she said almost proud.  

“No, he never mentioned you to me” I said clearly dumbfounded. 

“5 years no way. How sway how?” I thought to myself clearly in shock. I knew Dwight was up to something I thought he was cheating on me and whole time I was the side. My intuition was on point I just didn’t interpret it correctly. Dwight was a liar.

“I’m Keisha. I’ve been in the army for the last four year. Dwight lives with me at my house. Why did you think he never took you to his house?” she asked then she stated, “our pictures are everywhere”. 

I took a deep breath before I responded because at that point Keisha was on my last nerve, but I felt sorry for her. She really loved Dwight she was angry, but she still loved him. He didn’t deserve her love or dedication. That woman was overseas risking her life fighting for her country and Dwight was here tricking off on me. The woman in me felt for that queen, but another part of me wanted to cuss her dumbass out for playing on my phone. The good angel won this round I wasn’t choosing violence. Dwight spent his coins on me, but I knew there had to be better than him out there for me. I refused to settle.

“No, he never mentioned you to me. I thought he maybe cheating on me, but when I tell you I never thought he had been in a relationship for five years never. I left him because I thought he was cheating on me. I got my own phone gave him back his phone and I moved on” I said. Then I remembered I never answered her question so I added “O I never stayed at y’all house because I was 17 and my aunt wasn’t having that, but trust he tried many times to have me stay with him. He always came to me. So again, I knew nothing about you Keisha.

Explaining myself to Keisha made me feel sick to my stomach and once I said what I needed to say I hung up the phone. I had nothing else to say to that girl. 

 I hated Dwight for even putting me in a situation like that. I hated Keisha for being so childish I would never reach out to another female about my man. The only person I am going to talk to about my man is my man, because he is the only one that owes me the truth. He would be the only person I wanted to hear the truth from. I am not friendly I don’t need random women reaching out to me calling me by my government name like a bill collector. If I thought I was done with Dwight before this solidified our relationship was permanently dead.

Once I hung up with my new friend Keisha she didn’t call right back. I thought she got a clue until she called me back two hours later. I had nothing let to say to Keisha or Dwight, so I refused to answer. My aunt however had time, so she answered ready to cuss Keisha out for harassing me. However, Keisha told my aunt that she read the text from Dwight begging me to give him another chance, and she realized that Dwight was pursing me behind her back, and I was clueless. She said she found the phone I gave back to Dwight and went through all our old messages. My aunt put Keisha on speaker so I could hear and me and my little cousin sat and listened. I felt bad for Keisha. I never wanted for a man that I loved to treat me like how Dwight was treating Keisha. Making her look dumb and blindly in love. Keisha told my aunt she knew about me from the start because Dwight always talked about me. She said she would talk to Dwight while she was overseas, and they would write each other letters. She sent Dwight home money every month to help with the bills while she was away. Money, he used to trick off on me, and neglected to keep up the bills. She stated that she had to move in with her mother once she came home from being overseas because she got evicted due to Dwight not keeping up with the bills. Dwight also moved in the Keisha and her mother they were all one big happy family. The last thing Keisha told my aunt was that she called back to apologize to me. 

Although Keisha irritated my spirit, I accepted her apology. I was sorry as well I felt bad for spending her military check on clothes, long nails, long hair, and cute shoes. Dwight was such a jerk I could not believe he played me the way he did. He pursued me while he was in a relationship, and it was disgusting really.

Once I flashed back into reality, I realized that it was Thanksgiving, and I was single in present day. I cooked a full meal my grandmother would’ve been proud of turkey and all and I was single. 

“Y’all know my neighbors next door the ones from Trinidad?” my aunt Lou asked during Thanksgiving dinner.  Then she continued “Ceejay’s brother is looking for a wife. I told him I am too old for him, but you’re the perfect age. He’s 32 he’s a nice young man, hardworking he would put all the furniture together for you. That’s what you need a man around here to help you out. Why is all this stuff not put together” my aunt asked. 

“Boom let’s stay focused on Ceejay’s brother. How tall is he, and when is his birthday? All he needs is a green card, right? I’ll marry him for 25k I replied to my aunt.

“O girl he Saif doesn’t have that kind of money” my aunt replied. 

“OK I’ll marry him for 15k” I said. That was perfect I became 15k richer and Saif got to stay in this beautiful country with me. Honestly, I felt like I still wanted the whole 25k because Saif was getting me for practically free, but I had to stay realistic. Josyn and I were done for good. I realized that Thanksgiving made almost a month since I talked to Jo and even longer since I saw his eyes. 

“I don’t know if he has 15k I just know that he is a good man and hardworking. That’s what you need in your life. It’s up to you I’ll give you his number” my aunt replied. 

“15k and give him my number. He can reach out to me if he can meet my terms. 

“Can I interject?” asked my cousin. She didn’t wait for a response before blurting out “Does Josyn have 15 pennies to give to you? “My little cousin said.

“At this point he is always talking about you and you’re always talking about him. Stay away from my man or you’re going to take a long walk off a short bridge” I said joking with my cousin then I said, “Anything under than 15k Christian will marry him Aunt Lou”. 

Less than a week after Saif reached out to me via text. 

“Do you agree to my terms yes or no?” I responded

“Can we FaceTime first” he responded.

“Sir do you agree to my terms. Why does it matter what I look like? Do you need a green card yes or no?” I responded.

I came off rude, but I’m shy a little bit. I didn’t want to talk to him on Facetime. I must be comfortable with someone to Facetime with them randomly. Don’t just Facetime me out the blue I don’t like that.

“Ms. Lou showed me a picture of you. I sent you a photo of me. I don’t have 15k to give you at once, but if you let me I’ll take care of you. I promise you won’t want for anything” he texted before I could respond another text came through. “If I can’t Facetime you can I call you I want to hear your voice, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he texted.

“You can call me” I responded as I opened the messaged and looked at his picture. I could tell him was tall from his picture. His skin was a smooth mahogany complex. Curls looked hydrated his dimples were cute he was fine. It was a regular picture he was dressed in a grey Nike suite airmax 95 shoes. He looked good, but then again, I’m a sucker for brown skin and curly hair. I was just happy he didn’t send a dick picture, and he looked well maintained.

Once he called me, we talked for what seemed like hours. He asked me to go out with him on the upcoming Friday and asked me where I wanted to eat. I never knew where I wanted to eat when someone asked me, so I hesitated to answer. Plus, I get tired of making the plans or the reservations all the time. I like a man to take charge say be ready at 7 we going to Kobe’s. Like sir take me out to dinner make the plans and take me out to dinner.

“What you in the mood for?” he texted.

“Seafood is always my to go to” I responded. I secretly told myself I would never date person with a seafood allergy. If we can’t go out have a nice crabcake and snow crab appetizer I can’t date you. If your Kryptonite is seafood, I can’t date you that’s my preference.

The next text was a screenshot of reservations for dinner at The Capitol Grille for the next Friday at 7pm. We texted like teenagers all day everyday until our date. Friday, he sent an uber to pick me up and drop me off at the restaurant. We ate, had amazing the conversation about everything he paid tipped the waitress and got me an uber home. Usually if the man pays for dinner I would at least tip, but I didn’t even have too. I offered to tip he seemed offended, and I kept money. It was nice. It was different. The following morning, he sent me a UberEATS Valentinos breakfast platter to my home. The bacon and sausage were turkey, and I thought I was in love.

“I didn’t have to pay for it with my card and he pay me back in cash? This man has a card, make reservations, sends flowers just because and wants to marry me to stay in the country. If he kept this up I might marry him because I loved him. I could definitely get used to being treated like this” I thought to myself.

Tuesday after Saif sent the breakfast platter out of no where Josyn slide in my DM. He sent me a photo of himself. He told me that he went on a spiritual retreat to detox his mind and body. He sent me a photo of himself he looked good. His skin looked clear, brown but bright whenever he was healthy his skin looked naturally vibrant. His hair however was in some lil bow wow braids. The braids told me he was still for the streets sadly.

Him reaching out to me in December after ghosting me in October made me feel strange. One part of me wanted to say I was happy he looked good, because he did. Another part of me thought “sir I don’t care about your life updates you ran out like a thief in the night. Once I’m happy and moving on of course you pop back thinking my life is going to turn back into the Josyn show”.

He asked me to go to the movies with him. I agreed and then I changed my mind. I didn’t want to go anywhere with Josyn. I wanted him to apologize for breaking my heart. He did me dirty too many times before and I just wanted to date and live my life drama free until my marriage.

I didn’t go to the movies with Josyn but I did go to the movies with Saif we watched Westside Story. Growing up Westside Story was one of my favorites and I wanted to see the remake. I expressed my interest in seeing the movie to Saif and he made movie reservations and picked me up. It was all so drama free. I paid for the snacks and practically dropped a car payment on pretzel bites, popcorn, and candy at the movies, after I paid for the snacks Saif cash apped me back the money without me knowing or asking. I just got the cash app notification when the movie started.

New year day I was laying in the bed when I got a DM from Josyn. I told him that I was getting married in February. I wasn’t going to spend another year stressing over Josyn accepting less than I deserved enough was enough. At least that is what I told myself before I let him back into my house and my bed. Josyn came over we had sex and that was that. It wasn’t magically make up sex it was just sex.

After sex Josyn got up and said he had to go home so that he wouldn’t be late to work. I got up and went to the bathroom. I felt tears start to form, but I didn’t allow myself to cry. Josyn came to the bathroom door and said “Bye Dee I love you” then I heard my front door close. It was like as soon as the door closed Saif texted me “goodnight beautiful”.

5 minutes after he left Josyn came back to my home and said he forgot he didn’t have work in the morning because he had a doctor’s appointment so he would stay. I let him stay overnight. I had so much love for Josyn. I realized that maybe the love was met to be platonic. I had to put myself first.

“Goodnight king” I texted Saif back and went to sleep.

I always slept better next to Josyn. However I wasn’t special myself and every other girl with a 30 and over card in the DMV felt comfortable sleeping next to Josyn. He was like a community blankey.

End of Part 4

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